Confessions of a Feminist Mom — Core Potentials - Osteopathy, Energy Medicine, & Nutrition

Let’s get one thing right out in the open - being a parent is hard; kids are consuming in ways we cannot truly understand until we become parents.

That being said, I love being a Mom - the hugs, the smiles, and the pride I feel for them fills my heart, but there are times when I forget myself while being consumed by my kids. I had this idea in my head that being a feminist and a mom meant I could do everything without the emotional toll and physical drain. That is simply not true; I get overwhelmed, I forget to eat or eat poorly, I obsess about things I think I am missing out on, I don’t feel stimulated, or I simply shut down. It is in these challenging moments that my needs and my self care become lost and I need to turn to my village and my community to help bring me back to me. I have learned that putting myself first from time to time is not selfish but vital.

My family feels my energy and if I am tired and depleted there is nothing I can give and they are impacted. Now this is not a perfect science. Even with all my supposed learned wisdom I still burnout, but now I have techniques and resources to get me out of it.

Confession #1: Social media is a terrible invention that I am addicted to. I LOVE seeing the pictures of what everyone is up to and the fun activities that they are doing as families. I HATE it when I compare and think “what I am doing wrong” as I see these amazing things everyone is else doing. Then I see stressed out parents rant and I want to help because I know how they are feeling and I absorb their stress and anxiety. On top of this, Covid-19 anxiety has affected everyone and social media has become a shared space of anxiety. I seek out this media frenzy when I need to stretch my brain away from the 100th poop in the potty cheer.

In spite of social media’s many negative aspects, I still love the connectivity it gives me and we need that through this pandemic. I have learned to stop and take a breath when I get overwhelmed. In energy medicine, there is this fun technique where you take in all the air around you and shoot it out like a puffer fish. It pushes out negative energy and it makes your kids laugh as an added bonus. Releasing the anxiety and stress gets me out of my head and brings me back to the important things like my self care and my family..

Confession #2: Food - I think about it a lot. Some weeks, I am really on top of it; I meal-plan for the week and think about snacks and balanced meals. Meal planning requires less decisions and speeds up the cooking process as I prep when I have time. Other weeks, after nights of no sleep due to normal kid issues like sleep regressions, night time accidents, nightmares, or teething, I remember to feed the kids but I survive on caffeinated teas and quick grab, processed snacks that require no brain power, and give no brain support. On top of this, accommodating different food palettes and diet needs of my family is mentally taxing.

As I have shared in a previous blog, food impacts me beyond simply sustaining me. Remembering to eat and eat well helps me sleep better, be more cognitively sharp and makes me feel better overall. To keep myself accountable in a manageable way, I need to work with someone who I check in with and reminds me of my food goals and the benefits of maintaining them. Having this extra support and knowing someone is looking out for me, frees up my energy to continue to care for those who need me.

Confession #3 is a big one. Being a mom is not enough. I love my kids, they are smart, funny and make me feel so loved. I would not be surviving Covid if I did not have their companionship. My heart bursts with pride when my youngest learns a new word or my oldest gets over his fear of the vacuum. Yet, being a mom does not complete me. I crave intellectual stimulation, I like working, and I like having goals. After giving birth to baby number two, I truly felt lost and overwhelmed. My identity seemed to exist only as an extension of my kids. My goals seemed insignificant. Worst of all, I didn’t really know what I wanted anymore.

I kept thinking, “oh if I had time”, or “if I had that I would…”, without even being sure what that meant. Britte’s Lasting Change Super Manifestor course came to me at the perfect time. Covid had shut down the world, and with my family at my side I had time again to discover who I was and who I wanted to become outside of my kids. This course taught me that to manifest my desired reality I needed to take the time to understand what I truly want and know what that looks like, not to just state my goals. It showed me that I can have it all because having it all comes from a place of actually knowing what I want and overcoming my own obstacles - many of them being obstacles that I created for myself.

When I do Britte’s pilates classes, he is right in there with me

Lastly, what I ultimately want is for my family and me is to be healthy, happy and safe and to do that we need each other. As much as I am there for my kids, I am discovering that they can be there for me too. For example, in the mornings when I need a fresh start, I like to do Becca’s Daily Energy Routine. My 4 year old son has become obsessed with the video and he likes to do it with me. If I am being lazy and not doing things right, he calls me out on it and gets me doing it properly. When I do Britte’s pilates classes, he is right in there with me and often my little one year old joins in too. When I am unmotivated to cook a good meal, I get my kids involved, teaching them the why and how of what I am doing. Cooking keeps them entertained and keeps me accountable to my health as well. As much as I am looking after them, I have found ways for them to look after me too. I need my family, my community and my team, because we all survive better when we have our support system.

As I said before - being a parent is hard. One of the reasons it’s hard is because caring for others is sometimes easier than taking care of yourself. Self care isn’t always bubble baths, or a glass of wine once the kids are asleep; it is looking after all parts of yourself - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I know I am a strong woman and in many ways independent, but I couldn’t do it alone and I know that is okay. Everyday I am grateful for the people in my life who have got me to where I am today and thankful for the continued support. Life is messy, thankfully I don’t have to clean it up alone.